When I was young, I had a stuffed Snoopy. Snoopy was my best companion - we did everything together - I told him all my secrets. Even Santa Clause knew how important Snoopy was to me. Every Christmas, when Santa stopped by, he gave Snoopy a bath and a new, bright red ribbon. Snoopy must've snuck out of bed to greet Santa, because he would always be patiently waiting under the tree every Christmas morning (guarding all my booty, no doubt).
At least...that's what I was led to believe. A few years ago, I returned from college for a visit with my parents, and one evening as we were talking at dinner, Snoopy was mentioned. I began talking of my fond memories of my beloved Snoopy. And how amazing it was that my parents (a.k.a. Santa) were able to find a red ribbon that was such a perfect match and use the washing machine without waking me up (the washing machine was on the other side of my bedroom wall). My parents just smiled. I was to discover it was a smile of guilt.
"We didn't," my mother stated. Dad continued, "We bought a new one every year and threw the old one away."
"You what!?" I shouted in disbelief. "So you mean, every year I was confiding in and sharing my life with...an impostor Snoopy?!"
"Well...yes," my father replied. "Finally, though, you went on to something else before they stopped making those. Good thing, too, or who knows what your mother and I would've had to come up with." The smiled, and we went on with my visit. But all the way back to school, I couldn't help thinking about the impostor Snoopy.
I suppose you can imagine how this Snoopy Incident has severely affected my life. I am suspicious of waiters who say they are taking my glass for a refill. Is that really my glass when he returns it? While my husband showers, I check to make sure he is really the man I married. And what about my car? I am the only one I allow to wash it, and I watch while any repairs are made.
I wonder if anyone else has experienced such a conspiracy. Beware. The Snoopy Incident could be happening to you! When your friends come over, are you sure that they are really the same friends who visited yesterday? When you return home from work, are you positive those are really the exact same children you left that morning? Always write down all serial numbers. Fingerprint everyone you know.
I love my parents dearly, and in some ways, I have even forgiven them for the Snoopy Incident. But every time I go for a visit, I wonder: Is that really them?
My real parents would never have done such a thing.

© Copyright 1992-2000 Pamela J. Templin